[ Come to Antiva, he cajoles in every letter they exchange. Just for a little while.
She puts it off. Finds excuses. It isn't that she doesn't want to see him, not at all. Only... There is so much work. Every day, more work. More reports, more trouble, more herding nobles like cats. It is one thing to be a commander and another to be an Arlessa proper, where she has to follow the rules of the land. It's a strange dichotomy, to be told she has no boundaries and then to say she does. And as the weeks go by, the longer she is separated from the people she truly cares for... It becomes a heavy weight on her shoulders.
Come to Antiva.
So she does.
A letter goes before her, telling him to expect her. She gives him rough dates and he sends back the name of an inn she will be safe to stay at while he 'cleans up' to join her. But then communication goes silent, as Zevran has warned her there are still Crows lingering despite the work he has done, and their meeting must be a careful one. She follows his instructions to the letter, going to the inn, writing down a different name. Paying a little up front but never showing any gold. Keep her weapons hidden and keep her staff elsewhere. Even the Warden insignia should be kept out of sight, at least for a time. Her name is known, as is her tie with him.
In her room, she unpacks only just. Keeps a bag at the door. He does not come for dinner and so she eats alone, sparingly, and rests on the balcony for a short time in the evening, candles lit. But as it grows late and he does not show, Neria begins to worry, and is halfway to putting on her tunic again when there is a rustle and a shadow at the balcony, moving quickly. She draws her dagger, turning-- And pauses as the hood comes down. ]
[ Each letter he sends is signed with a desperate plea; come to me.
Zevran had not lived with the spark of desperation inside of him that called for companionship of this time. Sex and love were two very different things to him for a very long time; it would not have taken much for him to bury himself in the pleasures of another for want of the person he wanted now, but... He is not the man he once was. Having met his Warden, having stood at her side and seen her push herself to her limits and further... How could he long for anyone else?
He watches her as she arrives, trailing her as he might a target from a distance. She does all the things he had asked of her - why would she not? She has always been a good girl - and she is soon settled in the inn, the best that he could find for their meeting. He wants her to be comfortable, of course he does, but he also wants her to be safe, which are not always the same thing when it comes to Antiva. Too many people know who he is and what he has been doing here and the risk to her... If it was too high he would refuse to allow her to come.
All the work he has done here has been to his benefit in the end, because it means he gets to see her again.
Zevran waits until the evening, as difficult as it is, and takes his time to climb the balcony outside, to scramble up into her room. There is very little point in attempting to be quiet, she is far too wise for that, but he slips into the side of her room and peeks his head through the door, lifting his head to draw his hood away, grinning at the shape of her dagger in the light of the moon and the soft candlelight.
He cannot help his laugh. ]
Ah, I have been found out. Your skills outshine mine, as always.
[ Relief passes through her and she slips the dagger back into its short scabbard at her side. For the first time in months, she allows herself a full smile that makes it to her eyes, and she crosses the short distance towards him. ]
Oh, don't give me that. If my skills were any good, I'd have known it was you earlier.
[ But, then, who climbs a trellis up to a window in the middle of the night? Unless that's an Antivan pastime.
Regardless, she closes that gap and throws her arms around his shoulders, tugging him close. She breathes him in, feels the warmth of his grasp, and exhales out a sigh. ]
[ There's no hesitation on Zevran's part; he opens his arms for her and embraces her properly, lifting her up and against him with a short, sharp laugh. It is good to be with her again, to be at her side again, to hear her voice... The months had been quite long indeed. ]
I think you knew it was me! You did not want to hurt my gratuitous self-esteem, for which I thank you.
[ For a moment, he allows himself to have the tenderness of her embrace, to settle near her and breathe her in. There are no need for words, not after how long it has been, and his hands stroke along her back, soothing and claiming all at once.
It has been too long. Far, far too long. He is so glad to be with her again. ]
I have missed you too. Are you well? Fed and watered and cared for, yes?
[ A short sound escapes her as he lifts her off the ground, though she laughs, her embrace tightening over his shoulders until he puts her down, holds her close. Her hands slip under his arms to hold him properly, squeezing him. He smells like leather and sunlight and...very Antivan, as she's getting used to what all of that smells like, too. ]
I hoped it was you. It would be a very terrible thing for me to have to kill someone when I've only been here a few hours.
[ Slowly - reluctantly - she pulls just enough away to look at him, to take in his face and his smile. At no point does she actually release him.
Neria laughs. ]
Am I a plant, now? I wasn't aware non-Dalish elves could sprout into anything. [ He gets a grin for his trouble. ] Fed and watered. It's so much warmer here than Ferelden. And I've taken care of myself, never fear, though you've given me more care in the past minute than I've had since you left.
[ Friends and companions are important to her. Her recruits are an extension of family. But no one will ever take his place. ]
[ She is so much, Zevran thinks, and it has been torture to be away from her. It was what was necessary, of course, with the way their paths diverged and the things that they needed to do, but it does not make it an easier burden to bear. No, he thinks, no, this is where he belongs, in her arms, with her around him and soothing him.
No one can mistake his fondness for her for anything more than the depth of his love. ]
Terrible, but not unexpected.
[ They are in Antiva, after all. If anyone had really suspected who she was or what her connection to Antiva might have been... It would not have been as safe for her as he had tried to make it.
Leaning down, he places a kiss on her forehead. ]
If a plant then surely you are a rose in bloom. [ Reaching down, Zevran lifts her up into his arms by her thighs, drawing her over to the bed so that he might sit down and settle her on his lap. This, he thinks, is much better. ]
Then you should be more taken care of! How cruel the world to leave you so bereft.
[ There must be Wardens here, she thinks, or some on the outskirts. Perhaps in Rivain? But she has seen none, and she wonders if even looking for them would have consequences. For the moment, none of that matters. Zevran is warm and inviting, and it's as if they never parted. It's...effortless.
It cannot be less than love, she thinks, and she closes her eyes as he presses his mouth to her forehead. Her ears turn red beneath his compliments. ]
Ever the charmer.
[ --She says, just before he scoops her up, and Neria makes an undignified sound as he does it so effortlessly, and brings the both of them to sit on the bed. With her in his lap. Face red, she smiles and even laughs, tipping her head to touch her forehead with his, just shy of nuzzling him. ]
I can take care of myself just fine. But seeing you is...what I've needed. What I've wanted. [ Neria kisses the top of his head, smiling against his hair. ] Nothing else compares. How does a rose bloom without sunshine, after all?
[ In this moment, very little else matters to him. To be able to be with Neria again, to bask in her company and the endless joy of the warmth and affection that he had denied himself for so long... Commitments in Antiva kept him from returning to her side, akin to some loyal guard dog, but he doesn't care. He would spend his entire life with her if he were free to do so and there is no point pretending otherwise.
Zevran has pretended a great deal of times before. He does not want falsehoods with her. ]
Would you have me any other way?
[ The grin that's on his face doesn't go anywhere, even when she laughs and leans close. It's obvious just how happy he is, warmth colouring him as his arms wrap around her waist, holding on to her with a fond smile. After so many months apart just having her here, knowing that the kiss to his brow is from her, is more than enough.
He is surely unworthy of what she gives him, but he has never been able to deny himself such fine things. ]
I have wanted you as well. [ His fingers trail against her spine, one hand staying on her hip. ] All my dreams have been filled with your face.
I would have you any way you were, Zevran. Charming, dour, vengeful; it makes little difference to me. You are you.
[ Her smile is fond as she briefly pulls away from the kiss to his head, and she reaches up to touch his face. Her thumb brushes over his tattoo. ]
But I like your charm. And I like it when you smile.
[ Though she can tell the difference between the forced ones and the natural ones. The one he wears now is perfect to her, sharpness and tenderness wrapped up together. His fingers work over her back and she tips back against them. Her tunic is thin for sleeping in with this warm weather and she feels every touch.
Neria kisses his cheek. She wants to kiss his mouth but then he won't be talking, and she has missed his voice too dearly. ]
I haven't stopped thinking about you since before I left Amaranthine. I wasn't really certain-- [ She kept imagining meeting again and never knowing how it would play out, what would be safe, where they'd meet. Not until she came to port. ] But daydreams couldn't prepare me for seeing you. Being together with you.
[ She leans back, giving him a glance-over. In the candlelight, he seems unharmed, not a hair out of place. Still-- ]
You've been all right? I know what you've said in your letters, Zevran, but-- [ She suspects he's been gentle in his retellings to keep from worrying her. ]
Ah, as long as I am my truly charming self. I see how it is, dear Warden.
[ But he is teasing her, of course he is, his head tilting to lean into the softness of her touch.
He accepts all that she has to offer, without pause nor hesitation. ]
I find myself smiling more often in your company.
[ Zevran made his living being what other people needed him to be - lover, assassin, ally or foe - but in her company he finds himself more at ease and more comfortable than he has ever been. She inspires a level of tenderness in him that is undeniable, that makes him feel warm from the inside out - the kind of tenderness he had been missing since he left her side, hands blood red from the work he had been doing.
Neria eases that particular ache as well. ]
I should have called for you sooner, no? [ Leaning forward, he nudges their noses together gently, a sure sign of his tenderness towards her and the affection he carries. Why try and hide it? She knows how he feels; it is a foolish thing to try and pretend otherwise. ] Then you would not have such thoughts in your head, to wonder how I might react to seeing you.
[ Head tilting, he smiles. ]
I am very well. All the better for being in your company once more.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2018-12-27 10:40 pm (UTC)oh my god this got so long, please tell me if you want something simpler
Date: 2018-12-27 11:07 pm (UTC)She puts it off. Finds excuses. It isn't that she doesn't want to see him, not at all. Only... There is so much work. Every day, more work. More reports, more trouble, more herding nobles like cats. It is one thing to be a commander and another to be an Arlessa proper, where she has to follow the rules of the land. It's a strange dichotomy, to be told she has no boundaries and then to say she does. And as the weeks go by, the longer she is separated from the people she truly cares for... It becomes a heavy weight on her shoulders.
Come to Antiva.
So she does.
A letter goes before her, telling him to expect her. She gives him rough dates and he sends back the name of an inn she will be safe to stay at while he 'cleans up' to join her. But then communication goes silent, as Zevran has warned her there are still Crows lingering despite the work he has done, and their meeting must be a careful one. She follows his instructions to the letter, going to the inn, writing down a different name. Paying a little up front but never showing any gold. Keep her weapons hidden and keep her staff elsewhere. Even the Warden insignia should be kept out of sight, at least for a time. Her name is known, as is her tie with him.
In her room, she unpacks only just. Keeps a bag at the door. He does not come for dinner and so she eats alone, sparingly, and rests on the balcony for a short time in the evening, candles lit. But as it grows late and he does not show, Neria begins to worry, and is halfway to putting on her tunic again when there is a rustle and a shadow at the balcony, moving quickly. She draws her dagger, turning-- And pauses as the hood comes down. ]
Zev?
i love it and i love you
Date: 2018-12-28 02:40 pm (UTC)Zevran had not lived with the spark of desperation inside of him that called for companionship of this time. Sex and love were two very different things to him for a very long time; it would not have taken much for him to bury himself in the pleasures of another for want of the person he wanted now, but... He is not the man he once was. Having met his Warden, having stood at her side and seen her push herself to her limits and further... How could he long for anyone else?
He watches her as she arrives, trailing her as he might a target from a distance. She does all the things he had asked of her - why would she not? She has always been a good girl - and she is soon settled in the inn, the best that he could find for their meeting. He wants her to be comfortable, of course he does, but he also wants her to be safe, which are not always the same thing when it comes to Antiva. Too many people know who he is and what he has been doing here and the risk to her... If it was too high he would refuse to allow her to come.
All the work he has done here has been to his benefit in the end, because it means he gets to see her again.
Zevran waits until the evening, as difficult as it is, and takes his time to climb the balcony outside, to scramble up into her room. There is very little point in attempting to be quiet, she is far too wise for that, but he slips into the side of her room and peeks his head through the door, lifting his head to draw his hood away, grinning at the shape of her dagger in the light of the moon and the soft candlelight.
He cannot help his laugh. ]
Ah, I have been found out. Your skills outshine mine, as always.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-28 03:12 pm (UTC)Oh, don't give me that. If my skills were any good, I'd have known it was you earlier.
[ But, then, who climbs a trellis up to a window in the middle of the night? Unless that's an Antivan pastime.
Regardless, she closes that gap and throws her arms around his shoulders, tugging him close. She breathes him in, feels the warmth of his grasp, and exhales out a sigh. ]
Hello. I've missed you so.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-28 03:29 pm (UTC)I think you knew it was me! You did not want to hurt my gratuitous self-esteem, for which I thank you.
[ For a moment, he allows himself to have the tenderness of her embrace, to settle near her and breathe her in. There are no need for words, not after how long it has been, and his hands stroke along her back, soothing and claiming all at once.
It has been too long. Far, far too long. He is so glad to be with her again. ]
I have missed you too. Are you well? Fed and watered and cared for, yes?
no subject
Date: 2018-12-28 03:38 pm (UTC)I hoped it was you. It would be a very terrible thing for me to have to kill someone when I've only been here a few hours.
[ Slowly - reluctantly - she pulls just enough away to look at him, to take in his face and his smile. At no point does she actually release him.
Neria laughs. ]
Am I a plant, now? I wasn't aware non-Dalish elves could sprout into anything. [ He gets a grin for his trouble. ] Fed and watered. It's so much warmer here than Ferelden. And I've taken care of myself, never fear, though you've given me more care in the past minute than I've had since you left.
[ Friends and companions are important to her. Her recruits are an extension of family. But no one will ever take his place. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-12-28 03:47 pm (UTC)No one can mistake his fondness for her for anything more than the depth of his love. ]
Terrible, but not unexpected.
[ They are in Antiva, after all. If anyone had really suspected who she was or what her connection to Antiva might have been... It would not have been as safe for her as he had tried to make it.
Leaning down, he places a kiss on her forehead. ]
If a plant then surely you are a rose in bloom. [ Reaching down, Zevran lifts her up into his arms by her thighs, drawing her over to the bed so that he might sit down and settle her on his lap. This, he thinks, is much better. ]
Then you should be more taken care of! How cruel the world to leave you so bereft.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-28 07:09 pm (UTC)It cannot be less than love, she thinks, and she closes her eyes as he presses his mouth to her forehead. Her ears turn red beneath his compliments. ]
Ever the charmer.
[ --She says, just before he scoops her up, and Neria makes an undignified sound as he does it so effortlessly, and brings the both of them to sit on the bed. With her in his lap. Face red, she smiles and even laughs, tipping her head to touch her forehead with his, just shy of nuzzling him. ]
I can take care of myself just fine. But seeing you is...what I've needed. What I've wanted. [ Neria kisses the top of his head, smiling against his hair. ] Nothing else compares. How does a rose bloom without sunshine, after all?
no subject
Date: 2018-12-29 01:42 am (UTC)Zevran has pretended a great deal of times before. He does not want falsehoods with her. ]
Would you have me any other way?
[ The grin that's on his face doesn't go anywhere, even when she laughs and leans close. It's obvious just how happy he is, warmth colouring him as his arms wrap around her waist, holding on to her with a fond smile. After so many months apart just having her here, knowing that the kiss to his brow is from her, is more than enough.
He is surely unworthy of what she gives him, but he has never been able to deny himself such fine things. ]
I have wanted you as well. [ His fingers trail against her spine, one hand staying on her hip. ] All my dreams have been filled with your face.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-29 03:09 pm (UTC)[ Her smile is fond as she briefly pulls away from the kiss to his head, and she reaches up to touch his face. Her thumb brushes over his tattoo. ]
But I like your charm. And I like it when you smile.
[ Though she can tell the difference between the forced ones and the natural ones. The one he wears now is perfect to her, sharpness and tenderness wrapped up together. His fingers work over her back and she tips back against them. Her tunic is thin for sleeping in with this warm weather and she feels every touch.
Neria kisses his cheek. She wants to kiss his mouth but then he won't be talking, and she has missed his voice too dearly. ]
I haven't stopped thinking about you since before I left Amaranthine. I wasn't really certain-- [ She kept imagining meeting again and never knowing how it would play out, what would be safe, where they'd meet. Not until she came to port. ] But daydreams couldn't prepare me for seeing you. Being together with you.
[ She leans back, giving him a glance-over. In the candlelight, he seems unharmed, not a hair out of place. Still-- ]
You've been all right? I know what you've said in your letters, Zevran, but-- [ She suspects he's been gentle in his retellings to keep from worrying her. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-12-30 11:02 pm (UTC)[ But he is teasing her, of course he is, his head tilting to lean into the softness of her touch.
He accepts all that she has to offer, without pause nor hesitation. ]
I find myself smiling more often in your company.
[ Zevran made his living being what other people needed him to be - lover, assassin, ally or foe - but in her company he finds himself more at ease and more comfortable than he has ever been. She inspires a level of tenderness in him that is undeniable, that makes him feel warm from the inside out - the kind of tenderness he had been missing since he left her side, hands blood red from the work he had been doing.
Neria eases that particular ache as well. ]
I should have called for you sooner, no? [ Leaning forward, he nudges their noses together gently, a sure sign of his tenderness towards her and the affection he carries. Why try and hide it? She knows how he feels; it is a foolish thing to try and pretend otherwise. ] Then you would not have such thoughts in your head, to wonder how I might react to seeing you.
[ Head tilting, he smiles. ]
I am very well. All the better for being in your company once more.